Equilibrium
by Apythia
Summary: Both Severus and Remus have been imprisoned and will not be released unless someone is willing to be bound to them. Hermione is forced to confront her feelings and history with both men as she debates what is easy verses what is right in love and life
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Both Severus and Remus have been imprisoned and will not be released unless someone is willing to be bound to them. Hermione is forced to confront her feelings and history with both men as she debates what is easy verses what is right in love and life

Author's Notes: This story was written for sweetmelodykiss as part of phoenixfest on Insane Journal. The version that will appear here is a "fade to black" adaptation of an NC-17 version. If you are interested in reading all the naughty bits, you will find this story at the Quidditch Pitch, The Petulant Poetess, and Adult Fanfiction.

Disclaimer: The characters, unfortunately, belong to JK Rowling, not me. I just like to bend them to my will.

* * *

**Equilibrium**

By Apythia

**Chapter 1**

Harry Potter threw down the _Daily Prophet_ in disgust, raking his fingers through his unkempt hair, curses flying out of his mouth fast enough to top even his best flying record.

"You kiss Ginny with that mouth?"

Freezing mid-rant, Harry pivoted slowly to see Remus Lupin, looking haggard despite the lopsided grin trying to brighten his face, leaning against the doorway.

"You're dead!"

"So people keep telling me," he said, pushing off the wall and stumbling slightly.

Harry was immediately at his side, guiding him to a comfortable chair in front of the fire.

"Do you need medical help? Do you want to go to St. Mungo's? Can I get you a drink? Something to eat?"

"Harry," Remus interrupted, "I'm fine. Well, as fine as one can be expected after nearly dying, transforming in my grave and then digging myself out. Thank god no one was around. When I think what could have happened if anyone had been in the cemetery that night." He shuddered.

"You… you … what? How?"

"Bellatrix is a particularly nasty bitch. After… after she killed Tonks" — he averted his eyes to the fire — "she hit me with a stunning curse and then forced the Draught of Living Death down my throat. I think she intended for me to be buried alive, which I was. What she didn't count on was the full moon and a werewolf's sense of self preservation.

"When I transformed without the aid of Wolfsbane, the pain was so intense that it I was finally able to regain my senses and crawl out of my grave."

Harry looked at Remus with complete horror etched on his face. He could not contemplate what it must have been like to crawl out of one's own grave. "But you were there with me when I went to face Voldemort," Harry pointed out.

"I had given up," Remus confessed. "My spirit had surrender, and my body was sure to follow. But then I saw Severus Snape. He was ghosting in the afterlife, or where ever we were, cursing much like you had just been. He had taken precautions against Nagani, and it looked like they had failed."

"But he's alive," Harry interrupted.

"I know," Remus assured him. "Just before he was jerked out of the realm, he told me not to be a fool and that I should go back and 'try living for once now that blight on our existence had been removed.' I thought of Severus, of Teddy, of you, and I knew he was right. It was cowardly to take death, the easy way out, when I had a son and a chance to finally live a life without the constant threat of Voldemort or war like the Sword of Damocles waiting for the last thread to unravel. So I came back."

"But that was over a year ago!" Harry protested. "Where have you been? What have you been doing?"

"Even though I decided to come back, I wasn't ready to face anyone yet," Remus said. "I was in horrible physical shape and my mental condition wasn't much better. I needed time before I could face the Wizarding World again and before I could try to be any sort of father to Teddy."

"Have you seen him yet?" Harry asked, glancing to a picture of his godson on the mantel.

Remus's eyes trailed Harry's, wincing at the image of his son.

"No," he said bitterly. "Andromeda Tonks' werewolf prejudices are even more pronounced since that was what allowed me to live while her daughter remained dead."

"I'll talk to her, Remus. You're Teddy's father; you have a right to have your son with you."

"Thanks, Harry, but this is something I need to do myself," Remus said with a sigh.

"Don't get me wrong; I am ecstatic that you are alive and relatively well and here, but what brings you back now, if not Teddy?"

"I believe it is the same issue that had you swearing so creatively when I arrived."

"Snape?"

"The one and the same."

"I can't believe they still convicted him after the testimony Hermione and I gave!" Harry ranted. "Dumbledore's portrait even confirmed Snape actions were the result of an order he gave. Snape is a war hero and deserves to be free to live his life! It's amazing he actually lived through the war and to be sent to Azkaban …" Harry growled in frustration.

"The Ministry did leave a loophole," Remus reminded him.

"And do you know of anyone who would willingly bind himself to him for life?"

"Harry, you were just defending him rather violently!"

"Well, yes, but being a hero doesn't change the fact he's a snarky git. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life tied to him?"

"Yes," Remus whispered under his breath. "I can."

"Harry!" Hermione squeaked in surprise when her best friend suddenly Apparated in the middle of her kitchen, causing her to drop her teacup. "How many times have I told you not to do that?"

"I'm sorry, Hermione, but I really need to talk to you," Harry pleaded, casting a quick _Reparo_ to the shattered china before handing the cup back to her.

"What is it?"

"Maybe we should sit down." Harry gestured to the table.

"Okay," Hermione said slowly. It had been awhile since she had seen Harry so visibly upset. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear whatever he was about to say.

Adjusting to life post-Voldemort and the loss of so many people she loved had not been easy for her. The war had strained her relationship with her parents to the point she wasn't sure if they would ever forgive her for tampering with their memories, no matter how pure her intentions were.

And then there was Ron. While Hermione loved him terribly, she couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life with him. She could never be like Molly; marrying young and raising a Quidditch team was never her idea of a Happily Ever After. Ron deserved to be with someone whose future goals matched his own, not someone who was hanging on to a relationship just because it was the one thing left unblemished by war. She couldn't make him happy. And she wasn't happy with him.

So she made a decision. She ran. She said her goodbye to Ron in the garden at the Burrow and then Apparated directly to a dinky little cottage in the outskirts of Paris where she could heal her broken heart, along with her war wounds, in private, giving Ron a clean break, a chance to move on.

It worked for Ron, who was once again dating Lavender Brown, and if George was to be believed, the two would soon be engaged.

For Hermione, life had taken an unexpected turn nearly eight months ago when she literally ran into a supposedly dead man in a bookstore. It was the second dead man she had seen since the war ended.

"Snape was convicted yesterday," Harry said, interrupting Hermione's reverie.

"What?" she asked, appalled.

"He's been sentenced to Azkaban for life unless someone agrees to be bound to him and accept full responsibility for his actions."

Hermoine's cursing was nearly as impressive as Harry's had been. "Those bloody idiots at the Ministry! They deserve to be trapped in the Forbidden Forest with irate centaurs!"

"It gets worse."

"How so?"

"Remus is alive."

"Why do you think that?" she asked guardedly.

"Because he came by my house yesterday before going to the Ministry."

"Where is he, Harry? Is he alright?"

"He's been arrested."

"What?" Hermione shrieked.

"The Minister is holding him on trumped up charges of werewolf activity during the war."

"He was a spy! He didn't commit any crimes even when he was with the pack!" Hermione was near hysterics.

"I know, Hermione," Harry said consolingly before his temper took over. "I swear the Minister is trying to eliminate all the Order members he can, especially the ones working closely with Dumbledore like Snape and Remus. Hell, they called an emergency meeting of the Wizengamot just to try Remus immediately. Said his being a werewolf was too great a threat to wait any longer."

Hermione let Harry continue his rant as her mind raced to find a solution to a problem she didn't fully understand. Remus and Severus were both in Azkaban. Two people who devoted their lives, literally, to saving the wizarding world were being repaid with punishment that probably had both of them wishing they had remained dead.

Hermione merely nodded when Harry asked to use her Floo, too caught up in her own thoughts to really pay attention to him. There was no choice. She would have to return to England. This time, she wouldn't be able to just quickly Floo in and out of the Ministry; she'd have to face more than just the interior of the Wizengamot courtroom.

"He's been convicted," Harry said gloomily, throwing himself down onto a chair. "Same sentence as Snape: Find someone to willing to bind with him or it's life in Azkaban."

Hermione was quiet, her mind trying to reason out how this had happened.

"Harry," she whispered. "How did Remus end up getting arrested?"

"He went to the Ministry to save Snape," Harry said, making a face.

"How was he planning to do that?"

"I'm not sure," Harry confessed. "It's not like he was going to offer to bind himself to Snape or anything, though, right?"

Hermione was suddenly not so sure.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione had been in Paris for a month when the depression of being alone, working as a glorified shop keeper in a local apothecary, and licking her wounds had increased her desire to drown her sorrows in Firewhisky. Or vodka. Or maybe both. It had been a night that played out far differently than she could have anticipated.

Deciding to indulge herself, she changed into her trusty Little Black Dress, the one that pretty much guaranteed it wouldn't be her galleons falling into the bartender's hand. She figured the price for drinking away her troubles would be quite high, and she didn't intend to pay for it herself. It was the one situation in which she allowed herself to play "the girl" card.

It was a warm July night without a breeze, and Hermione tugged off her shrug, baring her shoulders and her back in an attempted to cool off. Voting in favor of air conditioning and anonymity, she decided to patron the nearest pub instead of continuing her walk to the wizarding section of the city, figuring if things went her way, she'd be too drunk to Apparate home, so it was better to imbibe somewhere within stumbling distance to her front door.

Entering the next pub she came across, she settled herself at the bar and commenced plan Get Hermione Drunk.

"Drinking alone is never a good sign, Miss Granger."

She had been possibly five, maybe six, shots down when she was certain the alcohol was affecting her mind, or at least her hearing, because she could have sworn the voice that had just whispered in her ear was the same as her dead Potions master's.

"Hit me again, Henrie," Hermione said, ignoring the obvious hallucination behind her.

"Make that two," the voice said as an arm reached passed her to drop some coins on the bar. It was a familiar hand, one she had watched fastidiously chop ingredients and stir cauldrons for five years.

"Join me?" The voice that never before had sounded so full of temptation was now practically dripping it against the bare skin of her neck as black-clad arms reached around both sides of her to pick up the shot glasses.

"Is it really you, Profesor?" she whispered, not daring to believe.

"Turn around and find out."

Slowly, she twisted in her chair until she was face to face with a very-much-alive Severus Snape.

"How? I saw you die. The blood, so much blood." The last word was barely audible as visions of her professor lying prone in a crimson pool chased away the happy fuzziness in which the alcohol had cloaked her brain.

As if sensing her change in mood, he transferred the shot glasses into one hand, along with a bottle of vodka with a nod to Henrie, and gently took one of hers in his other.

"Come, and I will tell you a story."

She followed him and the alcohol to a corner booth, unable to stop staring at her former teacher. He was dressed in a black button-down shirt and matching trousers. She briefly wondered if he had ever dared to don something other than black or his house colors. _Concentrate!_ she chastised herself. _The man is back from the dead, and all you can think about is his sense of fashion._

Back from the dead.

She downed the shot before her in a single gulp. Snape graciously refilled it.

"Thanks," she said. "I'm not used to speaking to people I watched die two months ago."

"Obviously I didn't die."

"What happened?" she asked, staring into his never-ending black eyes.

"Dumbledore had his suspicions about Nagani before he died. I was certain to always take an antivenin when Summoned."

"But you _died!"_ she insisted.

"I lost consciousness due to loss of blood," he told her. "I was afraid I might die; I nearly did. The antivenin was draining from me along with the blood. The only thing that truly saved me was that I was able to apply Dittany to the bite just in time to save my life, but my body rendered itself in a state of suspension in order for it to work."

"Dittany," she said in awe. And then she smacked herself on the forehead. "Dittany! Why the hell didn't I think of that? I stood there, watching the life seeping out of you, and I had a bottle of Dittany with me! I didn't do anything!"

"Hermione," he interrupted her self-censure, "you were in the middle of a battle and had just witnessed death first hand. You can't blame yourself for not thinking clearly."

"I could have saved you," she said, looking at him with glassy eyes.

"I didn't need rescuing," he assured her.

"Doesn't everybody?" she asked, taking another swig.

"Is that why you are here?" he asked. "Looking to be rescued?"

"Why are you here?" she countered.

"To see you."

She just stared at him.

"Am I right in assuming that Potter has shown you the memories the two of you collected that night?"

She nodded.

"For nearly twenty years, I was fought over as a valuable pawn in a never-ending war. Never once was I asked how I felt about risking my life on a daily basis. Never once was anyone concerned about what I had sacrificed for the greater good of the wizarding world."

"I was. Am," Hermione assured him.

He studied her, his stare so intent that Hermione had to fight to remain still under it.

"You are in the minority then," he confided. "I am tired of running, tired of hiding. I want to have my name cleared. I want a chance at the life I have been deprived of all these years. And you, Miss Granger, are going to help me."

"Of course," she said. "Whatever you need."

"You will testify to what you have seen in my memories?"

"Yes," she said adamantly. "And you will have Harry on your side as well. He sang your praises to all at the battle before he killed Voldemort. He felt, still does, that you were unfairly manipulated by Dumbledore and should be celebrated as a war hero."

"With the Boy Who Lived on my side, how could it possibly go wrong?" Snape asked snarkily before downing his own shot.

Hermione giggled, then, appalled, covered her mouth.

"Don't," Snape whispered, reaching over to remove her hand. "I like to see you smile."

They were both silent for a second before each swallowed the alcohol before them, confused by Snape's last comment.

Hermione realized her lips were rather numb, and her limbs were feeling tingly, a sure sign that room spinning, complete babbling, and possibly even developing a close, personal relationship with the loo, might not be too far off in the future.

She toyed with the empty glass. Not meeting Snape's gaze, she asked, "Do you want to walk me home?"

She kept her eyes down as she felt him slid out of the booth and stand before her. His hand, palm up, infiltrated her line of sight. Slipping her hand over his, she stood and allowed him to lead her out of the pub.

The door to her flat had barely closed behind them before they were on each other, a tangle of arms and skin and breath and heat. Hands tore at clothing, mouths sucked at skin, tongues ran smooth, wet lines down bodies.

Somehow they had found their way onto her bed. Naked and needy, they took turns mapping each other's bodies by sight, by touch, by taste, until the desire became so great that the only thought either had was _NOW_.

Finding nirvana together, they fell asleep tangled in sweaty satisfaction.

In the morning, he was gone.

Hermione had not seen him again until she had showed up at his trial to testify, as she had promised. Even then, she was unable to speak directly to him. And now, Severus Snape was stuck in a cell in Azkaban. As was Remus Lupin. Hermione wondered how running away had managed to complicate her life even more and just what she was going to do for the men who, once again, needed to be saved.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hermione!" Remus Lupin threw his arms wide, and Hermione couldn't stop herself from running into his embrace.

"Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? Why didn't you wait for Harry or me to help?"

Hermione continued to babble against Remus' chest as he held her tight. She hated that he was being kept in this awful place, hated that he was away from her. Ever since she found him in that dusty, old bookstore all those months ago, he had become a constant in her life, someone else who was running, someone she could focus on and not have to examine her own life too closely. They weren't lovers, yet, but Hermione thought they could be. Easily. They just needed more time.

But now, they were out of time.

Just as she vowed to aid Severus, she had promised Remus to help him reclaim his life. She nursed him physically and emotionally, preparing Wolfsbane while they talked of lost comrades, friends, and lovers. She held him in silence the first time he returned from visiting that bitch Andromeda who dared to keep him from seeing his son. Her anger had sent her directly into research mode the next day. Remus would have his son back.

But not if he stayed in Azkaban.

She took a deep breath and pushed back from his embrace so she could look at him. His amber eyes, always so full of emotion, entranced her. She desperately wanted to see those eyes crinkle in happiness, twinkle with mischief again. Cupping his cheek in her palm, she stood on tiptoe and placed a gentle, chaste kiss on his lips.

"Marry me, Remus," she whispered against his neck. "Let's let the Ministry bind us together so you can get out of here and come home. With me. We'll clear your name and get your son back. I swear, Remus! I will do everything I can to help you. I will not allow you to rot here."

"Hermione," Remus interrupted, his voice husky. "I don't know what to say."

Say yes."

"I can't ask this of you Hermione." He gently removed her from his embrace so that he was holding her at arms' length.

"Yes, you can," she persisted.

Remus released her, running his fingers through his sandy hair and sighing deeply. "Please, sit." He gestured to a rickety chair at a wobbly table that comprised the visitors room at Azkaban as he commenced pacing the small area.

Hermione watched him with wary eyes. She wasn't big on marriage — and it certainly wasn't something she had thought about doing before now — but it was the only thing she could think of to get Remus out of here, which was Priority One. Priority Two was getting the charges dropped and reuniting Remus with Teddy. After that, they could address what that might mean for them beyond a superficial level. In the grander scheme, getting married to help a man she had grown fond of during the last eight months was a small sacrifice.

"There's something you need to know," Remus said slowly. "About me. About Severus."

Hermione looked at him, noting the anxiety radiating from his features. _This is going to be bad_, she thought as she perched on top of a rickety chair.

"Do you know why I finally decided to reveal myself here again? Why I chose yesterday to announce that I was alive?"

Hermione shook her head.

"I heard about Severus' sentence. I decided to come forward and volunteer to bind myself to him. To give him the chance at a life he's never had."

"Why? You two loathe each other."

Remus kneeled before her, taking her hands in his. "Severus and I have a complicated relationship. We aren't friends, nor are we enemies. We're lovers. Or at least we were, or had been."

Hermione felt her mouth drop open. She knew that Remus felt a sense of gratitude toward Severus for giving him the courage to return to this world, but she had no idea that the two of them had a more intimate history.

"But Tonks," she protested.

"Was a wonderful woman. I did love her in my own way," he assured her. "Severus is not really a relationship-type of man. We were more about anger and stress reduction. Ours was always a volatile pairing. But there was always something underlying, something deeper that neither of us have dared examine too closely."

"You love him," Hermione stated, suddenly sure of it. "Even after all that you two have been through, have done to each other, you are in love with him."

Suddenly she felt silly for being here, for thinking that she had sensed something between her and the man before her that obviously existed only in her imagination.

"Yes, I believe I am. I think Severus returns the feelings, even if he would never say so." Remus' grip tightened around her fingers. "But I'd be lying if I didn't confess to feeling 

something for you these last few months." He brushed his fingers against her cheek. "I think we could have been happy together. But I couldn't let Severus face the rest of his life here."

"And now you both are facing the same fate."

"Yes, well, events didn't turn out quite as I had imagined," Remus confessed with a slight laugh.

"No, I image not," she said, covering his hand with her own. "While we're in confessional mode, there is something you ought to know. A month before our paths crossed, Severus had found me. I was drunk and in a bad place mentally, as was he. One thing led to another, and…well…" She let her voice trail off before adding, "He was gone before I woke."

She locked her gaze with Remus' searching eyes. Moments past in silence before he spoke.

"There may be a way for this to work yet."

"He suggested what?" Harry's voice rang out, causing Hermione to grab his arm and drag him bodily into the hallway, away from the remaining Order members gathering in Godric's Hollow, where Harry had restored his family home, to discuss the fates of their two spies.

Hermione had hoped to have this discussion with Harry before anyone had arrived, but luck was not on her side today. Instead, she pulled him up the stairs and into the library before locking the door and casting a silencing spell.

"He asked if I would consider being bonded to both of them," she repeated, turning to face her best friend.

"Why?" asked a dumbfounded Harry.

"I think they may be in love," she said with a shrug.

"What about you? Don't you deserve a chance to be married to someone who loves you? If you bond with them, you won't be able to marry anyone."

"Harry, this isn't about love. At least not where I am concerned."

Harry pulled her into a hug.

"You're always trying to fix things for everyone else," he said into her hair. "What about doing what you need to do? Why are you even considering this? And why is it that you didn't seem too shocked to find out either of them were still alive?"

Hermione pulled away and sat down on the couch. Harry followed. She turned to face him.

"Because I knew," she confessed. "I saw Severus once shortly after moving to Paris. It was about six weeks later that I crossed paths with Remus. He and I, well, we stayed in contact and became friends. I think we both needed someone who knew what the other had been through in order to heal."

"You really care for him, don't you?"

"He's my friend, Harry."

"He's more than a friend." Before she could protest, he continued, "I am not implying anything happened between the two of you. It's just that you get this strange look on your face when you talk about Remus."

"It doesn't matter how I feel," she said with a wave of her hand. "All that matters is that we get them out of Azkaban, the sooner the better. The rest can be dealt with later."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," he said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder.

"I know." She smiled at Harry. "Besides, neither would dare hurt me knowing the Savior of the Wizarding World would hex them for even thinking about it."

"Damn straight!"

They both laughed, though neither's heart was really in it.

"Will you send up Ron?" Hermione asked hesitantly. "I feel I owe him a private explanation."

Harry nodded and pulled Hermione into another hug before leaving the room.

Silence weighed heavy in the air around the three people sitting in the rickety chairs in the cold, impersonal visitors room in Azkaban.

Hermione kept her eyes trained on her interlaced fingers, her knuckles white with tension.

"Why?" It was the low voice of Severus Snape that final broke the silence.

"It's the best option for all involved," Remus said.

"No," Severus admonished.

"Why ever not?" Hermione ask, finally daring to raise her eyes to the men before her.

"How can you even contemplate this?" Severus stared at Lupin in disgust. "You would ask her to bind herself to us for life?"

"I've already agreed to it," Hermione reminded him.

"Of course," Snape said. "She's a bleeding heart, Lupin, and you are taking advantage of her."

"Severus—" both Lupin and Hermione started.

Snape raised a hand to halt them. "Besides," he continued, "I have no desire to be bound to another person ever again."

" So you'd rather stay in Azkaban than agree to this?" Lupin asked.

"And just what exactly am I agreeing to? Married life and living happily ever after? Do grow up!"

Hermione watched as Remus' face fell. Her heart ached for him, even knowing he loved Severus and not her. Maybe Severus and Harry were right. Maybe she was just setting herself up for more emotional pain.

She hadn't realized the men had stopped talking until she felt a hand lifting her chin and was surprised to see Severus' black eyes boring into hers. "Hermione, why are you doing this?"

She felt him prod gently into her mind, and she dropped her guard, welcoming him into her thoughts. She showed him the feelings of outrage and injustice she felt at both of their sentences, the desire to see them free and living their lives, the desire to right a wrong.

"Not good enough," he said softly, their minds still connected.

This time, she showed him the ones she wouldn't say out loud. She thought about the night in the bar and what had happened later in her bedroom. How she felt discovering he was alive and then discovering the delights of his body. She shared the regret of waking alone and the concern for his safety that followed for months afterward.

"And Lupin," Severus prompted, his voice betraying his projected unaffectedness.

She showed him images of her and Remus crying and cuddling in front of the fire, of the slow building of their friendship, of the deepening of her feelings for the werewolf. The indignation she felt at his being barred from his son. Her disappointment upon finding out about his relationship with Severus. Her drive to set it right, to let the two men who never stood a chance before to finally find happiness together.

She felt the emptiness as Severus withdrew from her mind.

"Hermione," he whispered, wiping a tear from her eye. She followed his disparate gaze to Remus who looked helpless under Severus' accusing stare.

"What did you tell her about us?" Snape demanded once the door had closed behind Hermione.

"Nothing that wasn't true!" Remus protested.

"The chit is in love with you, and you're trying to convince her to bind herself to us for life so we can shag in peace?"

"That is not what I suggested!"

"Lupin!" Snape cut him off. "She's barely an adult. She idolizes you and always wants to do what's right. Did you really think she would say no to your suggestion, no matter the cost to her personally?"

"I didn't think—"

"No, you didn't."

Silence once again fell heavy in the room as the two men were lost in their thoughts.

"We can't do this," Snape said with a heavy sigh. "She fancies herself in love with you. It's not fair to her to be trapped with us."

"Is there an 'us,'?" Though he tried for nonchalance, the uncertainty in his voice was clear.

Severus studied the other man intently.

"Aren't we a little old for this, Lupin?"

"Severus Snape, I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you truly feel nothing for me after all this time."

"I feel a lot of things toward you," Snape answered snarkily.

"Would you really rather rot in Azkaban than be with me?"

There was a long pause, where only the breathing of two men filled the air, before Snape whispered a barely audible, "no." Before he registered what was happening, he was gathered in Lupin's arms and being snogged most soundly. Giving himself over to the only other person he had loved besides Lily, Snape surrendered to the kiss.

The banging on the door by the guard reminded them of their surroundings, forcing them apart.

"Please, Severus," Remus begged. "Give us this chance."

"What about Hermione? I've spent the better part of my life regretting tying myself to people. I don't want her to feel the same."

Remus cupped Severus' face in his hands. "You have feelings toward her, don't you?"

Snape rolled his eyes.

"You do! "Remus insisted. "Something happened that night between the two of you."

"Of course something happened; we shagged," Snape said in exasperation.

"Besides that," Remus persisted. "I see it in her, too, the way her expression changes when I say your name."

"That's because you're breaking her heart, you dumb dog, by reminding her you care for me and not her."

"But I do care for her!"

Snape locked eyes with Remus and dove into his mind. He found many of the same memories he had seen in Hermione's: them taking comfort in each other, developing a friendship, both wondering if it could be more. And then Severus had been arrested, and everything had changed.

Snape withdrew and sat wearily upon the chair. "You should marry her," he said, defeated. "You two could be happy."

"And what of you? What if I can't be happy without you? And can you honestly say you feel nothing for her?"

Snape was quiet for a moment before muttering, "Sentimental fool."

The three of them were once again stuck in a waiting room. This time, instead of the visitors room in Azkaban, Hermione Granger, Severus Snape, and Remus Lupin were pacing a small room outside of Courtroom Five, waiting for the Minister of Magic to approve their proposal and legally bind the trio, thus releasing Severus and Remus into Hermione's care.

"Miss Granger." A clerk had peaked his head around the door. "The Minster wishes to have a word."

Giving a quick glance toward the men, Hermione followed the clerk into the courtroom where the Minister and what looked like the full Wizengamot sat. She schooled her face before the surprise could show.

"Minister," she acknowledged with a nod of her head.

"Miss Granger," Minister of Magic Cole Cresswell replied. "As you can see, we consider your proposal to be a very serious matter. Surely you understand just how unusual your request is?"

Hermione merely nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"You do understand what you are agreeing to, don't you?" asked an elderly woman to the Minister's left.

"If you find me acceptable as a warden, both Remus Lupin and Severus Snape will be bound to me magically, and I will be responsible for their actions."

"You understand that this binding is permanent?" asked a kind-looking young wizard whose gaze seemed filled with pity.

"Yes," Hermione said, trying not to let the exasperation come through in her voice. "The process functions much like a marriage. Our magical energies will be bound and cannot be unbound by any way other than death, and as neither man seems to take to death too well, I can safely assume this binding will most definitely be forever."

"And you still want to do this?"

Hermione held her head high, looked Cresswell square in the eye and respond with a strong, sure, "yes."

"Then you shall have your wish," he said, sounding like he was taking joy in something that would obviously cause Hermione much pain.

"Marsters." He gestured to the guard. "Bring in the prisoners."


	4. Chapter 4

An hour later, Severus, Remus, and Hermione found themselves in Hermione's living room in France.

"Well, welcome home," Hermione said, staring at the equally unsure men before her. Unable to help herself, she began to shake, the events of the day overwhelming her as her knees gave out. She was caught by men on both sides before she hit the floor. It was too much. She was essentially a married woman. A woman with itwo/i husbands who were in love with each other. She didn't know whether that made her the luckiest or saddest woman alive. If only they loved her as well.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Remus asked, brushing her hair from her eyes.

She offered up a weak smile. "Yes, I guess I was just a little overwhelmed. I never imaged having one husband, yet alone two at the same time."

"Do you want two husbands?" Severus asked silkily.

"It's a little late to change my mind," she laughed.

"No, Hermione," Remus clarified. "I believe he's asking what you want from us."

"I don't want anything," Hermione protested.

"Really?" Severus purred, running his hand up her arm.

"Nothing?" Remus echoed, his actions mirroring Severus'.

Hermione's eyes flashed from one man to the other. They certainly couldn't mean what she thought they did. Deciding she was obviously misinterpreting the situation, she found herself in need of space and a moment alone to gather herself. "Tea anyone?" she asked, jumping up from the sofa and heading to the kitchen, not waiting for a response.

As she set about boiling the water and searching through her cupboard for tea leaves, Hermione chastised herself for even considering the possibility that either man may be interested in her. Yes, she and Severus had a thing a year ago, but it was one night. Who knew how many "one nights" he and Remus had shared. Sighing heavily, she set cups down on the counter. It would be nice to have a real marriage, even if it were unconventional. Shaking her head, she inhaled deeply, forced all unreasonable thoughts from her mind, and returned to the waiting men.

After a few uncomfortable moments of sipping tea and searching for conversation topics, Hermione gave up and suggested the men get settled in their new life.

"This is your home now, as small as it is, but I'm sure we'll figure out how to make it work," she assured them. "Shall I show you to your room? I think I'm going to turn in early. It's been a long day."

The men followed her up the stairs. Hermione regretted having to sacrifice her personal haven of a library to create a bedroom for the men, but ultimately, she figured it was a small sacrifice. She could always use magic to create another room downstairs for her books. She opened the door and ushered them in.

"Of course you are free to redecorate as you wish," she said gesturing to the room which now contained a large four poster covered with caramel-colored linens that complimented the mahogany wood that dominated the room. "There is a wardrobe for both of you," she said, gesturing unnecessarily to them.

"We're sharing a room?" Severus asked, eyebrow raised.

"I…I thought that was what you wanted," Hermione stuttered, feeling stupid.

"It's fine," Remus assured, hugging her. "You've done so much for us Hermione. We couldn't ask for more."

She looked over Remus' shoulder to Severus. "I didn't mean to assume… I am sure we can work some magic to create more room. You can have my room."

Snape walked up beside Remus and hesitantly put his arm around Hermione. "There is no need to offer up your room until you're ready. This will be fine."

Confused by his words, Hermione gave up trying to figure anything else out until she had some sleep and distance from the life-changing actions of the day. Excusing herself, she bade the men a good night, leaving them alone in their room.

"This isn't going to work," Snape sighed as he collapsed on the bed.

"Ever the pessimist," Remus said, crawling onto the bed next to Snape. "I am pretty sure this will work just fine," he said, running his hand lightly up Snape's thigh.

"Not that, you prat," Snape said, swatting Lupin's hand away. "I meant us and Hermione. She's too young, too innocent to want what we're offering."

"She may surprise you," Remus said as he nipped at Snape's neck. "After all, she's already taken a tumble with you, and, according to your unquestionable Legilimency skills, she wants to do the same with me." Remus began to unbutton Snape's robes. "Is it really such a large leap in logic to assume she might be interested in both of us together?"

"I thought I was the one assumed to corrupt young, impressionable minds."

"Well, yes," Remus said, finally baring Snape's chest and dragging his tongue from bellybutton to throat. "But this time, you'll have help."

Severus moaned and cast a quick silencing spell at the door as he pulled Remus' head toward him and devoured his mouth as two sets of hands worked to divest their bodies of unnecessary and unwanted clothing.

Reveling in the feel of skin against skin, the men became a tangle of limbs, each relearning the lines of a body that had been gone too long from his touch, enjoying the gasps and moans that tongues and touches brought.

The sensation of finally being together again, of being one was too intense for either to last long. With a grunt from Severus and a strangled cry from Remus, the pair found their nirvana before collapsing breathlessly and satiated on the bed.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N - I apologize for forgetting to edit out the naughty bits when this chapter was first posted. They have been tamed.

Chapter 5

Hermione stumbled blearily into her kitchen and set about her morning ritual of making tea. She hadn't been able to sleep the night before knowing that the two men she desired were sharing a bed across the hall from her. Judging by the utter lack of sound emanating from the room, one of them had cast a silencing charm, leaving her to deduct that the two men had spent time getting reacquainted with each other.

Sighing heavily, she threw herself in a chair, her head in her hands. _What the hell had I been thinking?_ she thought helplessly. _I can't do this. I can't lie less than four meters from them while they shag and not go crazy._ She let her forehead thump against the table, which was followed by a muffled "ow."

"Do you abuse yourself as such often, Miss Granger?"

Her head snapped up at the sound of Severus' voice. Her eyes widened in surprise to find two very fit men clad only in pajama bottoms and looking well-shagged entering the kitchen and joining her at the table. _Merlin! I am so screwed,_ Hermione thought, looking longingly from one man to the other, wondering just what had happened in her library last night. She was jarred out of her fantasy by the whistling of the kettle.

"Allow me," Severus said, rising to tend to the tea.

Hermione's eyes trailed his every move, following the long lines of his body as he reached into the cupboard for cups. She remembered the feel of those muscles under her hands, the way he reached to pull her closer that night. The memory of him moving under her, in her was almost too much, and she could feel herself flush as she pulled her eyes from Severus' back into to knowing gaze of Remus seated next to her.

She unconsciously licked her lips at the sight of the man with tousled hair and bedroom eyes staring back. It was the first time she had seen him shirtless. She was surprised at the broadness of his chest and the firmness of the muscles covering his torso. Like Severus, his skin bore the marks of a hard life, and just like she had with Severus, she found herself wanting to run her fingers over those scars, trace them with her tongue, make him forget the pain they signified.

The clink of china being set before her on the table brought her attention away from her desires and to her tea as Severus settled into a chair across from her, raising his own cup to his lips. She watched, unable to tear her gaze away as his tongue snaked out and traced the remainder of the tea from his upper lip. She gasped involuntarily, startling herself out of her reverie.

"Excuse me," she muttered, racing out of the room.

Once safely ensconced in her bedroom with the door locked and warded, she paced, running her fingers through her hair.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuckfuckfuck fuck!" she chanted.

"Calm down, Granger!" she ordered herself. _I can do this_, she thought. _I just need to find myself a diversion. I just need some space_.

Deciding to go for a walk — she wouldn't call it running away — she quickly dressed in a pair of jeans and knit sweater and bounded down the stairs.

"I'm going—"

The words died on her lips as she found Severus and Remus in a heated embrace, Remus was backed up tight against her refrigerator, as both their tongues seemed to be fighting for dominance. Severus' hands were tightly fisted in Remus' hair, controlling the angle of his head, while Remus' fingers stroked under Severus' shirt, pulling him closer.

Remus' moaned at the same moment a whimper escaped Hermione's mouth. Oh how she envied them, both. What wouldn't she give to have been in the place of either of them in that moment? To have been between them? Her knees threatened to give as she watched Snape's hand trail down Remus' bare chest. Remus' answering growl made her shiver with longing. She leaned on the doorjamb for support, unable to move, though she knew she should go; she had no right to intrude on this private moment, yet she couldn't will herself to leave. She wanted to touch herself, to touch them, to be touched. God, she was so turned on; she had never felt as lustful as she did watching the men in her kitchen.

"Severus," Remus moaned again. Hermione snapped her eyes back to his face at the sound of his voice, only to find open, lust-filled amber eyes locked on hers.

She fled.

She was several streets away and half-way through the park before she stopped running. Full of unrequited lust, shame, and heartbreak, she collapsed under a tree, allowing her emotions free reign as tears streamed down her face.

--

It was dusk when she stumbled back down the streets toward her home. Not really wanting to go inside, but not having much choice as she had left her wallet in there, she walked up the stairs. Reaching for the door, she changed her mind at the last minute and Apparated away.

She staggered at the force at which she appeared outside of the Burrow. Doubling over, she waited for the nausea and dizziness to subside. When it passed, she stood and knocked on the door.

"Hermione!" Ginny's squeal alerted the rest of the house to her arrival.

After being greeted by Harry and several redheads, Hermione found herself seated in the living room, a cup of tea thrust in her hand and an audience of Weasleys wanting to know what life was like being bound to Severus Snape and Remus Lupin.

"How are you holding up, dear?" Molly asked.

"I'm fine," Hermione answered.

"Must be rather interesting being tied to two men," Ginny said cheekily, causing Hermione to drop her cup.

"Sorry," she muttered, as the Weasleys laughed. She whispered a quick _Reparo_, only the cup flew back together with such force that it shattered again.

"Having trouble with your new magic, Hermione?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"What do you mean 'new magic'?" Harry asked.

"Now that Remus and Severus are bonded to Hermione, their magical power is tied to hers. When she casts a spell, it's not just her magic, but the magical ability of all three of them behind her," Mr. Weasley said.

"You mean I am using their energy?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"Yes," Mr. Weasley responded with surprise. "Didn't the Ministry explain this to you?"

"No," she said slowly. "I knew we'd be bound, but —"

"But you didn't understand what it meant, really," Mrs. Weasley said with pity.

"Hermione," Mr. Weasley started. "Remus and Severus are now bound to you. You have full access to their magic. You control it essentially. You are now the vessel through which they can do magic."

"I don't understand."

"Without you, they would be powerless," he said. "You have the ability to block them from accessing their own magic."

"What?" several voices sounded at once.

"No!" Hermione denied. "No! This can't be true! The ministry would never…" She looked imploring to Mr. Weasley. "Why? Why did you let me do this?"

"It was the best option," he sighed. "And I knew you would never abuse this power."

Hermione was quite for a moment, letting the horrified truth sink in.

"Is the reverse true?" Harry whispered. "Can they control her magic?"

"No," Mr. Weasley said. "They are bonded to her, but she is not bound to them."

Hermione was silent as she absorbed this new development. This was wrong. It was all so very wrong. This was not what she wanted; she didn't want to control their magic. She just wanted them safe.

"But Mr. Weasley, the Minister said it was rather like a marriage bond. Surely Mrs. Weasley, you don't wield power over Mr. Weasley's magic," Hermione pleaded.

Mr. Weasley sighed as Mrs. Weasley reached out to place a comforting hand on Hermione's arm.

"Oh child," she said. "You really didn't know?"

Hermione shook her head.

"In the old days," Mr. Weasley began, "men would bind their wives to them in such a way. It assured obedience and gave the husband full control over his wife and her power."

"It was a practice that fell out of fashion in the last century as witches' rights increased," Molly continued.

"I believe many people had forgotten about it until the Ministry stumbled upon it and decided to use it as a new form of punishment," Mr. Weasley continued.

"It's barbaric!" Hermione cried, feeling sick. "I can't believe I did this to them!"

"It was their choice," Harry said. "They didn't have to agree to this."

"And what kind of choice was it, Harry?" Hermione said, standing and then pacing. "Be bound to me or spend life in Azkaban? Oh god, what have I done?" she whimpered as she collapsed back on the couch.

"I assure you, Hermione," Mr. Weasley said. "Both Remus and Severus knew exactly what they were agreeing to."

Hermione took no comfort in his assurance.

--

It was nearly midnight when George and a rather drunk Hermione Apparated outside her home.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" George asked.

She smiled at the concern in her friend's voice. She always thought of the twins as her older brothers, and she loved them dearly. The loss of Fred had been just as devastating to her as the other Weasleys. Since then, she'd taken even more of a concern for George; even during her self-imposed exile, she had written him often, even more than Harry.

"How can I face them?" Hermione asked, collapsing on the terrace steps.

"Talk to them, Hermione," he suggested. "They are grown men, and they made their choice. Clear the air between you. Let them know how you really feel."

Hermione let out a loud laugh. "How I really feel?" she said incredulously. "Let's see. How do you think they would react to 'I'm sorry I now control all your magical ability, and by the way, I want to shag you both silly?'"

"You what?!"

Hermione buried her face in her hands, embarrassed at her drunken confession. "I want them, George. God do I want them."

"Remus, and _Snape_?" he asked surprised.

Hermione looked up at him sheepishly and nodded.

"Damn, girl!"

"And they're already sleeping together."

"Remus and Severus. Are shagging?"

"Yes. I walked in on them in the kitchen today. _My_ kitchen!"

"So why didn't you just join in?"

"Excuse me?" she looked up at him shocked.

"Come on," George chided her. "You're hardly a prude. If you want them, do something about it. I mean, you've already shagged Snape, so you know he's amenable. And Remus was with Tonks, so he can't be completely gay," he reasoned.

"I don't want a pity fuck," she mumbled.

"No, because if that were the case, we'd be taking a tumble right now," George joked as Hermione playfully smacked his arm.

"Just reminding you the option is always there," he said.

"Thanks," she said with a smile, knowing for all their flirting, nothing would ever happen between them. She sighed, struggling to her feet. "I guess it's time to face the music."

"You may be lucky," he said. "They may have already shagged themselves unconscious for the night."

"Goodbye, George," she said with a smile, turning toward the door.

"Bye, Granger," he said, disappearing with a pop as Hermione entered the building.

The house was dark and quiet as Hermione stumbled inside. She paused in the entryway, listening for sounds from her housemates — Husbands? Prisoners? — but finding none.

"Silencing charm," she muttered to herself as she battled her way up the stairs and into her bedroom before collapsing onto her bed, fully clothed, and falling into a drunken sleep.

--

"No!" she screamed, shaking with fear as the knife dug deeper into her skin. She tried to twist, to escape, but Bellatrix' grasp was too tight.

Greyback was approaching, licking his lips with anticipation. "I love it when they scream."

He reached for her as the knife bit into her neck.

"Miss Granger!"

Her body automatically responded to the commanding voice of her former professor, and Hermione found herself suddenly awake, sitting up in a bed drenched in sweat, her heart still pounding.

"You were having a nightmare," Lupin said quietly, reaching out to caress her back. "Was it the same one?"

She nodded, not looking either man in the eye.

"He's dead, Hermione. He can't hurt you."

"He already did," she muttered, excusing herself from her bedroom.

Remus sighed heavily, running his hand through his hair. He had held Hermione through many nights like this when they first met up after the war. It had been months, however, since she had a nightmare. He wondered what had brought this one on and hoped it hadn't been what she had seen in the kitchen earlier.

"What was that about?" Snape asked reaching over to clasp Lupin's hand in his.

Remus hesitated, unsure as to whether or not to confide Hermione's secret to his lover. Deciding that it was probably best for all involved to know, he told Severus of the torture Hermione had suffered that night at the hands of the Death Eaters.

Severus was pale when Remus had finished.

"Did he…Did he…" Severus was unable to finish the sentence.

"She never said," Remus answered. "I could never push her for an answer."

Severus just nodded. "We should see to her," he suggested, rising from the bed and heading toward the bathroom.

"Hermione?" Snape rapped on the bathroom door.

"Go away," a whimpered voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"Hermione, please," Remus tried.

"I want to be alone now."

"Miss Granger! Open the door this instant!"

Remus glared at Snape's demanding tone. Snape looked back and shrugged. "It worked earlier," he whispered. "Perhaps she'll respond now."

"If you do not open up this door, we are coming in!" he threatened louder.

"Severus," Remus pleaded.

"Hermione," Snape's voice softened. "Please let us in. We want to help."

There was a long pause before a soft click signaled the opening of a lock, and the door swung open. Hermione was huddled against the wall between the tub and the toilet, shaking and tearful. Remus rushed to her, cradling her in his arms as he carried her back to her bedroom, Severus trailing.

They held her, one on each side, as she cried herself to sleep; both remaining awake hours afterward.

Hermione awoke to the sensation of swollen eyes and an inability to move, as if some weight were holding her in place. The night before came rushing back to her: the truth about the bonding, drowning her sorrows with George, the nightmare, crying herself to sleep. She groaned at the recollection, waking the men on either side of her.

"Drink this," a gruff voice said as a potion was thrust into her hands.

She downed the hangover potion, frustrated at herself for having a nightmare that she thought she had been over. The horrors of the war had died a slow death, and she was none too happy about their resurrection. _It must have been the stress of yesterday,_ she figured. _Great!_ she thought. _I get them in my bed, only to be sobbing the whole time!_

"How are you feeling?" Remus' voice was low and soothing.

"I've been better," she said.

Remus smiled at her, and her heart tightened at the memory of what she had done to him and his magic.

"Remus," she said, reaching out to cup his face. "I am so sorry."

"For what?" he asked quizzically.

She scooted up in bed so she could see both men. "Mr. Weasley told me the truth about the bonding last night. I swear I didn't know!"

She watched as the men looked from her to each other and back.

"And what truth is that?" Snape asked.

"That I can control your magic. That I am not bound to you as you are to me," she said guiltily.

"And?" he prompted.

"Isn't that enough?" she asked.

"Hermione, we were well aware of what the bonding entailed before we entered it," Snape assured her.

"Well I wasn't!" she protested.

"Do you regret it?" Remus asked quietly.

She studied the look of apprehension on his face and Snape's weary expression. "I don't know." She held up her hand to stall their interruptions. "I certainly don't want to see either of you in Azkaban, but I didn't want this either. No one should have control over someone else."

"It's the story of my life, Hermione," Snape attempted to joke feebly.

"That's just it," she continued. "No one should have control over you, not like this."

"Hermione, do you intend to exert your control over us?" Remus asked.

"No, of course not!" she said adamantly. "I would never!"

"We know," Remus assured her. "Why do you think we were so amenable to the idea? We knew you could never use this power to harm us."

"How could you be so sure?" she asked.

"We know you," he continued. "We know your heart."

Hermione turned her pleading eyes to Severus. She knew he spent nearly his entire life answering to one master or another. Would he consider her any different? "Severus?"

He reached out and brushed a lock of her hair from her face. "Do you remember our night together in the pub?"

"How could I forget?" she said, her eyes locked on his.

"You said we all needed to be rescued," he reminded her. "Maybe that's what this is all about."

Hermione looked at him with confusion, but before she could say anything, his lips were on hers, and he was kissing her as he had that night. It was a kiss of passion and promise and a release of regret. Hermione gave in, relishing the feel of his mouth on hers, not wanting it to end.

When they finally broke apart, she looked at him with wonder. "You forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive," Snape said. "After all, it was our idea."

Hermione, instantly reminded of Remus, turned to face the man on the other side of her, afraid of the reaction she might find for just kissing his lover. What she least expected was to have another set of lips crushing against hers as Remus kissed her for the first time. It was surprisingly demanding, and she yielded to his insistent tongue.

He pulled back enough to look at her, one hand clasped in hers, the other reaching out for Snape's. "Is this what you want, Hermione? Do you want us?"

She looked from one to the other, unwilling to believe what Remus was proposing.

Severus wrapped his hand around her free one, completing the circuit. "Do you want us all to be together Hermione? To truly be together?"

Unable to form words, she just continued staring.

"Do you think us so callous as to just use you to be set free so Severus and I could carry on together? Do you think us that cruel?" Remus chided.

"I…I didn't know what to think. I didn't think," she stuttered.

"I won't deny there is something between Lupin and I," Severus said. "But you can't deny there is something between you and I, between you and him."

Hermione didn't trust what she was hearing. Surely they couldn't mean what she thought. "It was just a one night stand, Severus," she said, trying to keep her voice level.

"Was it?" he purred. "Did you truly never think of me as I have thought of you?"

Choosing to face Remus instead of answering Severus, she asked, "And what about you? You left here to bond Severus to you. Surely you can't want this?"

"Why not?" he asked her. "Why wouldn't I want the two people I love to share my bed?"

"Love?" Hermione choked on the word.

"Love," he said with affirmation. "Can you honestly tell me after all those months together, you feel nothing for me?"

Hermione shook her head, not trusting her words. He _loved_ her?

"Perhaps you need some time to think it over," Severus suggested. "Lupin and I are going to go out for a while to give you some space." He leaned over to kiss her forehead, before dragging Lupin from the bed and out the door.

Hermione stared at the door long after the men had left.


End file.
